


eyes to the sky

by academmia



Series: dream smp fics [1]
Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, C!Dream is an asshole, Gen, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, I am very funny, Panic Attacks, Scars, Set in canon, Trauma, awesamdad, sam and puffy are the only people on this server with rights, tommy has trauma because he is a CHILD who has been through shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-18 13:34:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28993020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/academmia/pseuds/academmia
Summary: Tommy wakes up and he knows it's going to be a bad day. His scars sting and Tommy feels a million blocks away. He wants to do anything but visit Dream. He has to though because he told Dream he would and if Tommy doesn't show up Dream will know just how weak he is. Dream will have won if Tommy can't face him. Sam and Puffy help him realize that he's already beaten Dream.OR: the one where Tommy finally gets some decent adults in his life
Relationships: Cara | CaptainPuffy & TommyInnit, Sam | Awesamdude & TommyInnit
Series: dream smp fics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2180799
Comments: 71
Kudos: 1451





	eyes to the sky

**Author's Note:**

> I can't be a c!puffy and c!sam apologist if they've done nothing wrong.

Tommy is having a shitty day. No, scratch that Tommy is having a fucking shitty day. His day is a dickhead. Dream hated it when he cursed. Dream hated it when he talked back or had his own stuff or tried to visit his friends. Dream hated it when he got too excited, or too quiet. Dream hated when he put a new shirt on and he hated it when Tommy tried to stand on his own. Dream hated it when he tried to save Tubbo’s life. Dream tried to kill Tubbo right in front of him and he smiled through that stupid mask when he promised he would keep Tommy alive. He fucking smiled. 

Tommy shakes his head. Those memories don’t matter. Dream can’t hurt him, Dream is locked in a prison that Sam built and Sam is great at his job. Dream can’t hurt him. Dream can’t hurt him. He keeps repeating it. Breathes in a shaky breath and counts the odd lines on his ceiling. He’s okay. Dream will never see the light of day again, he and Tubbo are back together and better than ever, the server is finally starting to heal. 

Everything is fine, so why are Tommy’s hands shaking so hard? 

He stands up, pulls his boots on the third try, and grabs his sword. He squeezes the hilt of his sword so hard his hand hurts. Tommy walks over to the mirror, and he sees a scared child staring back at him. Tommy can’t be a scared child, he isn’t a scared child he’s a big man. Dream can’t see him like this. 

Tommy smiles, the boy in the mirror smiles with him. Smiling hurts, and it’s not even real. 

His eyes wander off to the scars that cover his arms and the white line across his face. His chest hurts when he looks at them. On good days, Tommy wears them with pride, walking around the Prime path showing every motherfucker on the server that they couldn’t kill him. Today he needs a long-sleeved shirt. 

He walks over to his closet and frantically digs through his shirt. He has way too many shirts, and for a second of blind panic, he doesn’t think he has anything that will cover his scars. But at the bottom of his draw is a long blank sleeved shirt, and Tommy breathes a sigh of relief as he pulls it over his head. 

If Technoblade were here he would call Tommy stupid with a fond voice and make him stay home. If Philza were here he would give Tommy a hug and convince him not to go. If Wilbur were here Dream would be far too dead for Tommy to visit. But they aren’t here. Philza and Techno fought against him and let TNT rain from the sky; Wilbur went crazy and Tommy watched his dad stab, Wilbur, before Tommy could get to him. Assholes, all of them. 

No one is there to stop him, so instead of staying in bed, Tommy pulls the front door of his house open and steps out into the sunlight. By the angle of the sun, Tommy can tell it’s about midday. Then the sun glares right in his eyes and Tommy stares right back because there is no fucking way some stupid ball of fire a million blocks away is more of an alpha male than he is.

  
  


Tommy scans the horizon, forgetting for a second where the prison is. It’s a giant obsidian eyesore so Tommy must really be spacing out today. He shakes his head again and tries to focus 

_“You’ve always been short-sighted Tommy,” Dream said, in the sickly sweet tone that made his skin crawl, “That’s why you need me to help you, this is for your own good,”_

“Get out of my head!” Tommy snaps. He is on the prime path, he is not in log town, he’s home and Dream is in a prison. Dream feels closer than ever today. 

And Tommy must be really out of it because he doesn’t realize that he isn’t alone on the prime path until it’s too late. Captain Puffy is looking at him with concern, her rainbow hair tied up in Ponytail and her netherite sword hanging from her belt. She looks nothing like Dream, and Tommy relaxes a little bit more. 

“Tommy, are you alright?” She asks, and Tommy squirms under the attention. 

“Aye Aye Captain,” He says, forcing a cheerful tone, “I’m doing great.” 

She frowns, “Are you sure? Because you didn’t sound fine.” 

“Yeah, yeah, you know me! I’m always fine. I am a big man.” 

She still doesn’t look convinced, which is ridiculous because Tommy is a fantastic liar, thank you very much.

“You know it’s okay if you aren’t, right?” 

Tommy wants to laugh because that is the funniest thing he has heard all day. Tommyinnit hasn’t gotten to be not okay in years. He isn’t a child anymore(no one let him be one in the first place)

He rolls his eyes, “Of course I know that!” 

She still looks doubtful but she changes the subject and Tommy is endlessly grateful, “So Tommy, where are you headed today?” 

“I am headed to the prison,” Tommy says, “Dream is supposed to be done writing my novels today, he’s going to tell me how to get lots of girls.” 

Something dark crosses Puffy’s bright brown eyes at the mention of Dream. On a better day, Tommy would ask her about it. Today is a shitty day, so he stays silent. 

“Are you sure you want to do that?” 

“Of course I am, I’m 16, It’s time I got a wife.” 

Puffy lets out a small laugh before her face gets all serious again, “You know that’s not what I meant.” 

“How am I supposed to know what you meant, women are so confusing that’s why I’m having Dream write me a book on getting a girlfriend-” 

“Tommy.” She says, and he snaps his mouth shut. 

“You know you could just leave him in prison and never see him again right?” 

He can’t. He needs Dream to know that he didn’t break Tommy(even if he always feels a little bit broken) And maybe a part of him doesn’t know how to function without Dream. 

“Yeah, I know” Tommy says, “But I’ll be okay.” 

“I know kid,” She says, giving him a warm smile, “You got an entire army of people here for you okay?” 

“Thanks, Puffy,” 

“Anytime Tommy,” She says. 

He gives her a two-fingered salute, and she returns the gesture, before turning around and walking away. Tommy watches as she goes, listening to the way her boots hit the wooden road. Puffy is good people, he decides. He’s glad she decided to join the server. 

Tommy walks towards the prison and the warm fuzzy feeling he got talking to Puffy evaporates into thin air once the obsidian walls come into his vision. Tommy’s stomach drops. Dream is no longer in his head, Tommy is willingly walking towards him. Dream can’t touch him inside the prison walls, and Tommy knows that, but he doesn’t feel it. Today he feels like Dream is about to find all his chests and blow them up and tell Tommy that it is all his fault. 

Tommy keeps walking. He is not weak, He is a big man, and he is a fantastic liar. 

He walks into the prison entrance and his stomach fills with dread at the sight of the swirling portal before him. He doesn’t want to be here. Logstedshire is thousands of blocks away from the prison but Tommy feels like he’s about to go right back to his own personal hell.

The Prison is too much like Logstedshire. No items, Tommy has to drop them all into a chest(Dream made him do it and it didn’t take Tommy long to realize his things were never his) and he doesn’t believe he will get them back. The prison is tight and small, too much like Pogtopia, and no one gets out or in. Tommy feels alone. Anyone could do anything to him in there, and no one would even hear it. There’s lava, so much lava(A small part of Tommy still loves lava, sitting at the edge of a crimson cliff staring into the sea of red, so close to the sweet relief of death) and even though Dream is the one in the cage Tommy always feels trapped. He makes a mental note to go heavy on the cursing today. 

Every bone in his body is screaming at him to turn the other way and never come near this building ever again. But Tommy is more than his fear, he is more than the way Dream hurt him, regardless of what his bitch brain tells him. And so, he takes two steps toward and lets the purple magic consume him. He shuts his eyes, and when he opens them he’s standing in the prison lobby, Sam standing perfectly straight at the counter. Tommy relaxes a bit at the sight of his friend. Sam lets him ramble all he wants without getting mad and Sam protected him from Bad and Ant yesterday. Tommy hopes Sam is good people. 

“Sam!” Tommy calls, with energy he doesn’t feel, “How’s it going, my buddy?” 

“I’m doing good Tommy,” Sam says, in his big bad warden voice, and then his eyes start scanning Tommy up and down. He resists the urge to make a joke or squirm under the attention, “Are you doing alright?” 

“Yep!” Tommy says, “Everything is just peachy.” 

“If you say so,” Sam says, and the doubt in his voice is hidden fairly well, but Tommy wouldn’t have survived long enough without being able to pick up the things people didn’t want him to be able to hear. Sam’s eyebrows are furrowed enough for Tommy to notice, and after a few days of knowing the man, Tommy knows that when he furrowed his eyebrows he was concerned. People being concerned about him is a very strange thing. People either love or hate Tommy, but no one is ever concerned for him. Not until Captain Puffy and Awesamdude. They are very strange. 

“I do say so,” Tommy says, “So are you going to ask your questions?” 

Sam stares at him for a few more seconds before sighing, “Alright.” 

“Sign this,” Sam says, and then he hands Tommy a familiar contract. 

Tommy signs it without reading it, which Techno would say is a very stupid idea but Tommy already knows what it says and Technoblade is an asshole anyway. He closes the books and titles it, and then he hands Sam’s questionable contract back to him. Sam pockets the book. 

“Okay, you know the drill, be honest in your answers and if I don’t like your answers I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” 

“Ok,” 

“When was the last time you visited the prison?” 

“A few days ago to visit Dream,” Tommy’s voice cracks when he says Dream’s name and Sam looks concerned again. _So much for being a good liar_. 

“Where is your place of residence?” 

“My home, in the Dream SMP,” 

“Alright, do you think the prisoner is deserving of being imprisoned?” 

Tommy says yes and thinks of every way the green bastard inside these walls has fucked up everything he loves.

“What is your prior relationship with the prisoner,” 

_He fucked me over so many times. I was just another piece on the board of his stupid fucking chess game. He almost killed everyone I cared about, he almost killed me. He’s the reason I stay up at night and he’s the reason I never want to go back to bed. He’s the asshole who makes me flinch everytime someone gets too close and he’s the reason I’m wearing a long sleeved shirt._

“Like I said Sammy boy, I was his sensi,” 

“Right,” Sam says, and he has the audacity to look skeptical.

“Are you willing to submit to any and all physical exams,” 

“Yep,” 

“Do you acknowledge that you may not bring anything into the prison with you?”

Tommy adjusts his grip on his sword nervously. He wants to sell Sam, _fuck no Mr. Creeper man, I will keep my stuff and bid you good day_ but instead he just takes a shaky breath and nods. 

“I need verbal confirmation Tommy,” 

“Yes.” 

“Good, and do you recognize that I, Awesamdude, am the ultimate authority on the grounds of the prison?” 

_No actually I’d rather not let another green man control me completely_ “Yes.” 

“Ok then, go to locker one, put all your stuff in the chest and then press the button for the key,” 

Right. Tommy just had to drop everything on him, everything that allowed him the ability to protect himself, into a chest. And then leave the chest and go see Dream completely vulnerable. Totally Poggers. 

Tommy was totally fine with it, which was why his body was completely freezing up and why he felt like he might just die if he went into locker one. His chest hurt and he could feel his eyes burning. He wanted to just say no, he could come back another day. He wanted to go find Tubbo and ask for a hug and a stupid joke. But all he could think about was Dream, in his stupid cell smiling when he realized Tommy didn’t have the guts to show up today. And so, Tommy walked into Locker one, 50% sure he might throw up. 

He could do this. He could do this. All he had to do was drop all of his stuff in the chest. And it wouldn’t even blow up, he knew that, it would be locked and no one but him would be able to access it. Tommy knew that, so why did it smell like gunpowder? Tommy took another step inside the locker. The walls seemed like they were shrinking and he felt terrifyingly tiny. 

With a shaky hand he pried the chest open with a click. It was empty, empty, empty except soon there would be dynamite inside. He dropped his sword with a clang. His hands shook even harder. He pulled out his food and he dropped that too. The apples bounced a bit as they fell. Tommy could hear ringing in his ears. He emptied everything out of his pockets, until all that was left was his gleaming diamond armor. The one thing stopping Dream from hurting him and the one thing Tommy was never aloud to have 

He reached for the latch on his chest plate, and it took him an embarrassing amount of time for him to finally get a good grip on the strap. Tommy pulled it, and felt one side of his chest plate loosening, leaving his bare skin exposed. He wanted to leave, he wanted to scream, he wanted Sam to tell him to get out so Tommy would have an excuse. Tommy reached for the second strap and watched as his chest blate dropped into the chest with a bang. He flinched hard, and the tears he’d been holding back were too strong for him. Damn, he was tired. 

Embarrassing, childish sobbs burst out of his chest and Tommy couldn’t see well enough to get any of his other amour off his off. And if he couldn’t get any of his armour off he couldn’t go to the prison and if he couldn’t get to the prison then all of this would be for nothing because Dream will have won. Dream always wins, that’s how the story goes. 

His chest hurt. Ringing filled the room, and Tommy was tired. He couldn’t breathe, let alone see Dream. He was dying, he had to be dying and he didn’t even know why. Maybe this was it. 

“Tommy you need to breathe will me,” A voice said. The voice was solid and steady, just like 

cobblestone. Tommy liked cobblestone. 

“I can’t..I can’t please I can’t” 

“Yes you can Tommy,” The voice said, like it was a fact, “You’ve gotten through every bad thing in your life Tommy, what’s one more bad day?” 

“I’m tired,” Tommy checked out, “I’m tired of being strong- I” 

“I know bud,” the voice said, “Try one more time for me, okay? In for 4.”

Tommy tried to suck in a breath but it ended in loud ugly coughing. He waited for the blow to come, because he couldn’t do something as basic as fucking breathing, but no hit came. The person talking to him didn’t even touch him. He could feel more tears leak down his face. 

“Hey, Hey, You’re okay,” The voice said, “Come on, let’s try again.” 

A hand grabbed his and before Tommy could panic even more he felt it. A heartbeat, slow and steady, and definitely not his. Tommy tried to inhale, going with the rhythm of the beat under his hand. 

“Good, now hold it for 5 seconds,” The voice said and Tommy nodded. The ringing in his ears got quieter. The heartbeat under his hand stayed steady as ever. 

“Ok, out for 7,” the voice said, and Tommy slowly exalted, too busy counting to 7 to panic about the missing chest plate. 

He heard the voice repeat the breathing pattern, and every time they went through it Tommy found it easier. He could breathe, no scratch that, he was the king of breathing. He was simply the best. 

His vision stopped spinning and to his absolute mortification, he realized the steady voice he’d been listening to belonged to Sam. Sam just talked him down from whatever that shitshow was. Of course, it was Sam, there was no one else here. Sam looked worried and Tommy really needed to stop putting worry on Sam’s face. 

“Hey, Tommy,” 

“Hey, Sam,”

“Glad you’re back with me,” Sam said, and Tommy nodded. 

“Do you get panic attacks like that often?” 

Tommy laughed, even though nothing was funny, “I don’t get panic attacks Sam, I think you’re getting old.” 

Sam stared at him incredulously, “Tommy, you literally just had a panic attack.” 

Tommy squeezed his eyes shut, childishly hoping that if he couldn’t see Sam anymore Sam wasn’t there. 

“I don’t get panic attacks Sam,” Tommy repeated. 

Sam’s eyes got all soft and Tommy internally groaned. Pity was the worst thing in the world. 

“I think you do Tommy,” 

“But I’m...” Tommy said trailing off. 

“Sorry, what was that?” 

“I’m stronger than that.” 

“You’re one of the strongest people I know Tommy,” Sam said, “But your also a teenager who has been through far too much trauma,” 

There it is. That stupid dumb word that Tommy never wants to hear again. Trauma, what a stupid idea. Tommy isn’t traumatized, his brain is just a little spicy. It’s why he’s the funniest person on the server and it’s why he wakes up screaming at night. 

“Whatever you say Sam,” Tommy says, because come on, he came here to flex on Dream, not get free therapy from Sam, “I’ll just finish putting my stuff in the chest and then we can go see Dream.” 

Sam gives him such a look of disbelief that Tommy has to look away, “You’ve got to be- ok fine. Try and put your stuff in the chest and I’ll take you to see Dream.” 

Right. Tommy can do that. He just has to take off his armor, take off his protection without having an encore freak out. Easy. But the second he tries to pry off his element he can’t move. He’s stuck here, frozen as Sam watches, just waiting for Tommy to slip up. And Tommy is just going to prove him right because no matter how hard he tries, he just can’t do this today. He has to though, that’s what he tells himself. 

Sam sighs when Tommy doesn’t stop trying, “Tommy, you’re not going to visit Dream.” 

“ _Sam_ you’re being ridiculous,” 

Sam shifts back into big bad warden mode, “No Tommy, we made an agreement,” 

“I have to see him Sam,” 

“You agreed that within these walls what I say goes,” Sam says slowly, and his cool voice stands in contrast to Tommy’s frenzied tone, “And I am telling you no.” 

“You don’t understand.” 

“Then explain it to me Tommy. Tell me why you have to torture yourself just to visit your abuser,” 

Tommy flinches at the word abuser but he’s too stubborn to stop, “Because if I don’t go in that cell Dream will have won. All that work for nothing, he will sit in his stupid cell and he’s gonna smile when he doesn’t see me because he’ll know,” His voice is cracking but he doesn’t stop, “He always knows, he’s always watching and I have a chance to prove to him that I am stronger than he’ll ever be and I need to win Sam, I have to,” 

“Tommy,” Sam says, “You’ve already won,” 

“What?” 

“You’ve won. Dream is imprisoned and I will never let him get leave. He has none of his stuff. Tubbo is still alive, you are still alive. You got your discs back. Dream is stuck in a cell and you can do whatever you want. You don’t have to do this. You’re already winning. But you know what isn’t winning? Destroying your mental health, ignoring your feelings, coming to see Dream when you can’t, putting yourself in triggering situations, refusing to let your friends help you. That is losing, Tommy. That is giving Dream what he wants. Taking care of yourself, healing, moving on, letting the right people in, that's how you beat him.” 

“Really?” 

“Really.” 

Tommy looks down at his boots, “I don’t want to see Dream,” 

“Good job, Tommy.” Sam says, and Tommy hates himself for the rush of excitement he gets from being praised by an adult, “Do you want a hug?” 

“No,” Tommy says reflexively, but he thinks about it he really wants nothing more, “Actually, yeah uh that would be nice.” 

Sam’s arms wrap around him and the empty space his chest place left is filled with the warmth of another person. Sam is a solid 4 inches taller than him but the hug still works. Sam holds him tightly, but loose enough that Tommy doesn’t feel claustrophobic. Sam’s hands draw circles on his shoulder blades and Tommy feels safe. Sam is good people. He’s tall and warm and steady. Tommy can’t help but melt. It’s been a long time since anyone but Tubbo hugged him. 

“Is this what a healthy authority figure looks like?” Tommy wonders aloud and he can feel Sam’s chest rumble when he bursts out laughing. 

  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! I absolutely love how Tommy is finally around adults who realize he is a child who has been through shit and try and help him out. Sam and Puffy(both the characters and the streamers) are awesome.
> 
> my favorite line from this was, "Then the sun glares right in his eyes and Tommy stares right back because there is no fucking way some stupid ball of fire a million blocks away is more of an alpha male than he is."
> 
> comments rock my world


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